Professor Butter Beard’s “Laocoön”
Tangle – “to bring together into a mass of confusedly interlaced or intertwisted threads, strands, or other like parts; to unite or knit together in intricate confusion; to involve so as to hamper, obstruct, or embarrass; to interact in a contentious or conflicting way.” Even the various published definitions are a “tangle.” My goal this past weekend was to attempt to “de-tangle” by slowing down my mind and body with meditation, closing off social media, turning off my ever-present mobile phone and even having my tangled curls shorn for spring. This was one of the most challenging experiments I have ever faced, but after a few hours, I was able to actually listen to the rain, and Nellie’s snoring and hear my own thoughts as they danced from a frenzied whirlpool into a crystal-clear pond.
This process brought to mind the Hellenistic masterpiece “The Laocoön group: Laocoön and his sons battling the serpents.” In this action-packed marble sculpture, three larger than life male figures frantically attempt to free themselves from the tightening grasp of the lithe serpents. No matter how much the panicked figures twist and turn, they remain entangled, climaxing in a swirling mass of snakes and limbs.
According to the Roman poet Virgil in his Aenied (written between 29 and 19 BCE), Laocoön was a Trojan priest. When the Greeks, who were holding Troy under siege, left the infamous Trojan Horse on the beach, Laocoön tried to warn his fellow Trojans against bringing it into the city since it could be a trap. The Greek goddess Athena (or the Roman Minerva according to Virgil), acting as the protector of the Greeks, punished the priest and his sons by having them attacked by the giant sea serpents Porces and Chariboea.
The statue group was first discovered in January of 1506 buried beneath the Roman vineyard owned by Felice de’Fredis. One of the first experts to examine the work was Michelangelo himself, who, along with Pope Julius II, ordered the work to be brought immediately to the Vatican and installed in the Belvedere Court Garden. Almost three hundred years later, the statue group was removed from the Vatican by Napoleon and taken to Paris where it was installed in the Louvre. It was returned to the Vatican in 1816 by the British authorities in Paris following the defeat of Napoleon at Waterloo. One more interesting tidbit in its “tangled” history is that the priest’s missing arm was discovered in 1906 in a builder’s yard in Rome. The archeologist Ludwig Pollak, convinced it was the missing arm, donated it to the Vatican Museum, where it remained for over fifty years. In 1960, the museum experts finally verified the arm’s authenticity, and the statue was reassembled with the new arm attached.
All this twisting and turning inspired my calming morning meditation bake of two loaves of braided Hazelnut Brioche. The addition of hazelnut flour adds an interesting depth and earthiness to the enriched dough and the orange zest and cinnamon enhance the aroma and finished flavor – especially when the loaves are sliced, toasted and spread with butter. Take a moment and de-tangle with some toast and tea. Don’t let the serpents win.
Hazelnut Brioche
2 Braided Loaves
Ingredients:
2 cups warm water (just warm to the touch)
1/3 cup warm buttermilk (room temperature is fine)
4 tsp active dry yeast
5 Tbsp sugar (I use a mix of white and brown – 3 white and 2 brown)
3 eggs
½ cup all-purpose flour
½ cup hazelnut flour (I recommend Bob’s Red Mill’s Hazelnut Four)
6 cups bread flour
1 Tbsp kosher salt
Zest of a large orange
1 tsp cinnamon
6 Tbsp unsalted butter, room temperature
1) In a medium glass bowl, combine the warm water, warm milk, the yeast and the sugar. Let this stand untouched until foamy. This should take about five minutes.
2) In another small bowl, beat the 2 eggs.
3) In the bowl of a standing mixer, mix together the three flours, the salt and cinnamon, and the orange zest with the paddle. Add the butter in teaspoon-size portions and mix on low speed until the mix begins to make crumbs (like making biscuits). Stir the beaten eggs into the yeast mixture and then pour this into the dry mix, mixing with the paddle on low speed.
4) Switch to the dough hook and mix the dough for another five to six minutes until the dough is smooth and elastic.
5) Turn out the dough onto a lightly floured surface and shape it into a ball. Lightly oil a large ceramic bowl. Place the dough into the prepared bowl and roll the dough to lightly cover with the oil. Cover the bowl with plastic wrap and let rise in a warm place until doubled in size – about one hour.
6) Lightly spray two loaf pans with cooking spray.
7) Turn out the dough onto a lightly floured surface. Divide the dough in two and shape each half as desired. The classic shape is a three or four-strand braid. Gently place the shaped loaves into the prepared pans and cover with a clean kitchen towel to rise again for about an hour.
8) Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.
9) Beat the remaining egg with 1 Tbsp water and brush the exposed tops of the risen loaves. Bake in the preheated oven for roughly 30-35 minutes (turning the loaves midway through the baking time).
10) When the loaves are beautifully browned and smelling delicious after about 35 minutes in the oven, remove them from their pans and return them to the oven to bake another five minutes to set the overall crust. Remove them from the oven and cool completely on a wire rack.
*Note – I also recommend spraying the loaves with water three times during the first five minutes of baking. Do this as quickly as possible in order to maintain the oven temperature as much as possible.
