Professor Butter Beard and the 4th-Century “Book of Problems”
“'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.”
– Attributed to Clement Clarke Moore and published in 1823
For five glorious weeks each December, I relish the delicious opportunity to remove my daily mask and reveal myself as Santa Claus. The white fur gets a fluff, the crimson velvet gets a brush, the boots get a shine, and my long curly beard earns its annual keep! Mrs. Claus, Dwindle the Elf and I uncover the glimmering sleigh and off we go to visit brunch restaurants, parades, train rides, elegant stores, and my favorite, private home gatherings. Candy-fueled munchkins watch out the windows waiting for our arrival, listening for the ringing of bells and the ho-ho-ho’s as we stroll towards the front door and loudly knock on the door.
“He had a broad face and a little round belly
That shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;”
For the next 45 minutes, there is nothing but sparkling delight in the air. We sing, read stories, check the nice and naughty lists and then each munchkin steps forward to whisper their heartfelt wishes for this year’s rewards under the tree. This season (so far), my favorites have been 3d Printers (love watching the parent’s faces on that one!), live turtles, Barbies are still rockin’ this year, Eagles jerseys, and even a few “can you make my crush love me back?” Each request gets a hopeful wink in return. Parents buzz around us with flashing iPhone cameras and then we stand to initiate our goodbyes (for now). Five times just yesterday, that action prompted spontaneous last minute munchkin bear hugs as they look up with hope and joy and love their eyes. It melts me every single time!
I remember that elation of anticipation each December as the Sears and Penney’s winter catalogues would arrive and I would sit for hours devouring each page planning, and re-planning, my Santa wish list. This week, when the bi-annual Metropolitan Museum “Recent Acquisitions” bulletin arrived, I immediately imagined the deliciously nerdy department curators sitting around their board tables, compiling their own version of wishes, hoping their actions throughout the year had enhanced their possibilities to be included within Santa’s “nice list.”
And then I saw page 15. This year, the Met had acquired “The Book of Problems of Pseudo-Aristotle,” a late 14th century Parisian illuminated manuscript created by the “Master of the Second Roman de la Rose of the Duke of Berry.”
Published within the bulletin was a detail of one of the illuminated folios. Pulling plump, rounded loaves from a large oven and cooking over a fire, the two medieval bakers depicted carry out seemingly routine daily tasks. Yet, the text accompanying this illumination addresses perplexing questions behind the everyday science of baking. Questions include: How does grain become bread? How are the properties of ingredients transformed through preparation? How do the finished loaves nourish the human body? According to the curator, “The illustration of a familiar, mundane scene of baking anchors the text’s more esoteric discussion of physical processes and lived experience.”
The manuscript is a luxury copy of an encyclopedic text known as the “Book of Problems,” mistakenly thought during the Middle Ages to have been written by Aristotle himself. Employing an enchanting question-and-answer format to explore everything from human physiology to the natural world, the text was translated to French in the late fourteenth century by Évrart de Conty, the physician of King Charles V, which dramatically increased its popularity with lay readers.
Again, from the curator, “The miniature, a line drawing only sparingly accented with shading and washes of color, is a fine example of medieval draftsmanship that serves as a counterpoint to the page’s more traditional marginal illuminations.” Agreed. But for me, it tenderly confirms my internal, and eternal, passion for the age-old tradition of baking bread and sharing that personal gift of love with others – like a shiny wrapped present under the tree on a chilly Christmas morning delivered by a right jolly ole elf – like me.
This morning, these meditations inspired a new version of my traditional Brioche. Clementines are finally in season and ready to be devoured like candy. There is so little pith that you don’t need to peel them before use – just chop them together with fresh cranberries and a sprig or two of rosemary and you have an instant “holiday mix” that can be folded into bread doughs, muffins, scones and flaky biscuits. Bake a couple loaves. Keep one for toasting with butter and give the second one away as a surprise gift to a neighbor. They’ll look at you and wonder if Santa acquired a new elf on the payroll.
“He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight—
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”
Cranberry, Clementine and Rosemary Brioche
Two loaves
Note – Winter clementines are lovely – use them whole!
Holiday Mix:
5 clementines, seedless
1 cup fresh cranberries
2 sprigs fresh rosemary, leaves pulled from the stems
4 cups bread flour (you want the extra gluten)
1 tsp fine sea salt
1 tsp ground allspice
4 Tbsp granulated sugar
¾ cup whole milk, warmed to just above body temperature
3 ½ tsp dried yeast
5 large eggs, room temperature
16 Tbsp unsalted butter, room temperature, cut into 16 pieces
1) Prepare the “holiday mix.” Cut each of the clementines into eight chunks (check to remove any surprise seeds). In a food processor, pulse together the clementines, cranberries and rosemary leaves. Leave the mix chunky – do not process to a paste. Scrape into a bowl and set aside.
2) Proof the yeast in the slightly warm milk (I also add ½ tsp sugar just to encourage the yeast).
3) In a standing mixer, mix together the flour, salt, allspice and 4 Tbsp sugar. Switch to the dough hook and mix in the eggs and the milk yeast mixture. Mix on a medium speed to form a soft, elastic dough.
4) With the mixer going, add in the butter, one piece at a time, mixing into a shiny smooth dough. Add about 1 cup of the “holiday mix,” and mix until uniformly combined. Save the rest of the “holiday mix” to add to biscuits or scones. Turn the dough into a lightly oiled bowl, cover with plastic and set aside to double in size – about two hours.
5) Grease two loaf pans and start to preheat your oven to 400 degrees. Divide the dough into 24 pieces. Roll each piece into a ball and layer each loaf pan with eight balls on the bottom topped by eight more on top. Lightly cover the pans with plastic and set aside to proof again until the dough comes up to just above the rim of the pan – about 30 minutes.
6) Bake the loaves for roughly 30 minutes until a wooden skewer comes out clean. Let the loaves cool 10 minutes in the pan before turning them out onto a wire rack to finish cooling.
